political thoughts I probably shouldn't post online

#1: It seems like everyone's calling for extreme gun control after what happened this weekend with Christina Grimmie and with the club in Orlando.  Don't people realize that the ones who will be punished are those who already follow existing gun laws?

#2: People are using the Orlando shooting to fuel the argument that Muslims are the worst.  Can we please change that sentence to, "Terrorists are the worst"?

#3: I wish the news would stop advertising the fact that this is the deadliest shooting in U.S. history.  We don't need some wacko to see all the press and publicity and decide to "beat the record."  Don't get me wrong, 50 is a significant number of people.  One is a significant number of people.  But when you consider the amount of damage that could be done by a wacko feeling challenged - Well, I hope we don't end up wishing it had only been 50.

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Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.  Don’t lose faith.

Steve Jobs

good things and God things

One thing I love about reading Christian-but-not-Mormon devotionals, like the (in)courage email I get every day, is that the authors talk about things differently - and have different subjects - than Mormons often do.  They offer a new perspective.

We, as a church and as a culture, tend to teach topics very close to the same way every time.  We offer the same quotes over and over - albeit really great ones! - and the moment something's taught in a unique way (in General Conference, for example), we cling to it and share! share! share! until it, too, is the norm.

Now.  None of that is meant to be a criticism.  I'm very happy as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. :)  But I also love hearing a new perspective.  It's refreshing.  This morning I read an article about choosing between the good and the best, creating white space, and letting ourselves rest.  When Mormons discuss this topic, we tell people to choose between the good, better, and best (referencing Dallin H. Oak's talk, "Good, Better, Best").  In this devotional, though, the way the author said it was, "Not every good thing is a God thing.  It's time to go beyond 'good' and embrace the very best God has for you."  

Mormons have some favorite scriptures, too, and I love that other Christian denominations' favorite scriptures are different than ours.  It's fun!  They're verses I've read and heard before, but being reminded of them makes them sound new.  In this same devotional, the author quoted Ephesians 2:10.  "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."  And then talked about God creating us and having a specific plan for each of us:

He has a divine plan that can only be accomplished through us.  He didn't say, "You ended up in this world somehow, so get up every day and see what happens."  No, you are here for a reason and you are irreplaceable.  

God wants you to take ownership of your life.  He wants you to live proactively... There will always be someone who's willing to tell you who you should be and what you should do.  But God doesn't want you to be like anyone but Jesus. 

It's time to go beyond "good" and embrace the very best God has for you.

Isn't that good? 

Sometimes hearing a lesson in new words makes it hit closer to home.

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It is not happiness that makes us grateful.  It’s gratefulness that makes us happy.

David Steindl-Rast

Pick a little, talk a little, etc.

Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Talk a lot, pick a little more...

We all have similar needs, I think, albeit in varying degrees.

The need I was thinking about today is the need to talk and be heard, to have someone interested in what you have to say, who will ask probing questions and act interested. (in a friend capacity)

I went to a block party where a friend met that need... so I totally took advantage and dominated the conversation.  Then I went home and felt embarrassed for not offering her the same courtesy of being allowed to talk and be listened to.  

They say that, to be a good conversationalist, you need to be a good listener.  Ask questions and listen to the response.  Where it gets fuzzy for me is, how often do I be the "good conversationalist" and how often do I let her be?  Because in a balanced friendship, there should be times when I'm the talker and when I'm the listener, right?

In my older friendships, this balance is pretty natural.  (Thank goodness!)  But in new friendships, I never quite feel like I'm getting it right.  

Honestly.  Dating was easier.

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Gratitude at its best is an action.

Henry Timm

When you have a gratitude attitude...

Sometimes I feel the need to complain about certain things just because that's what people (or women) do, not because I actually care.

In high school, people would complain about being tired, so when people asked how I was, I would often reply, "Tired!" and laugh.

It's so normal for women to complain about their children and husbands that I have, I'm embarrassed to admit, caught myself complaining about things that don't actually bother me or that are endearing about my husband and children.  I wonder what in the world I'm saying, where it came from, and try to figure out how to end my thought sounding like a compliment to my family instead.

Little Girl told me twice a few weeks ago that I had a big belly / there should be a baby in me.  But I knew the reason was because I'd just drunk a ton of water, I'm trying to be healthier, and even though it was a little weird at first, I laughed it off and feel fine about it now.  Still, there were several times that night with Joel that I almost slipped it into a lull in conversation, just because it seemed like it should've bothered me more.

Am I a lone complainer who has to fight to keep her mouth shut, or are we all too comfortable with complaining?  Let's become people obsessed with talking about gratitude instead. :)

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The real question should be - how can I appreciate this moment more?  There is always some positive in the moment that we can notice and appreciate.  I have two arms, two legs, I’m breathing.  Life is good.

The Gratitude Diaries

Gretchen Rubin

What time is it? SUMMERTIME

photo credit to Joseph Hoban via freeimages.com

(Do I have a post every summer with that title?.....)

Everyone's talking about summer right now - Are you excited for it?  Are you excited school's almost out?  Do you have any summer plans?  Are you going anywhere?

Here's what I think.

I'm excited for my kids to sleep a little later

To go swimming and to the splash pad and the lake / pond thing.

To wear my cover-ups and sun hats.

To have the whole day free instead of just until 2:00.

To be more spontaneous with plans.

To see our flowers fill in and our yard get prettier.

TO EAT STRAWBERRIES.

To grill for dinner and eat picnics.

To go to baseball games and practices.

No, we don't have any big plans, and we don't know if we're going anywhere.  Do people already know that?  Unless you're flying, needing a hotel, or meeting other people, how far in advance do you need to plan?

To have a regular summer routine.

To go to waterparks.

I want my kids to play with their friends.  I want to go on dates with Joel.  I want to go on a temple tour [visit temples in Utah].  California - the beach, my sister, Disneyland, the fabric district.  Family pictures.  Making some videos.

We're gonna need more than one summer. :)

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On the off-chance that you won’t live forever, maybe you should try being happy now.

The Newsroom

practicing creativity

I read an article that said practicing creativity - like writing - helps get it flowing, so I got a journal specifically for that endeavor and try to write in it 10 minutes/day.

"Think of this not as a 'daily goings-on' journal, but more of a 'things I could potentially blog about' journal.  A pontification journal?  Anyway, I've noticed that writing in my gratitude journal helps me think of things to write about in my gratitude journal, so I'm hoping this will do the same.

A 'stream of consciousness' journal?

A 'free write' journal?"

I love spring-timey weather, where the coats stay hung up and, when I'm in my office, I hear kids screaming at the park and talking while walking home from school.  That means people are outside again.

What should we do for our next date night?  I want something without food since it's not starting until 7, but maybe not a movie?  What is there to do after 7 that's not food or a movie?  Maybe an arcade-type place or something.  

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There is always a reason that people do things a certain way.

Jenn Riding

It's not you, it's me. Really.

Have you ever gone to an event and hoped someone would sit by you and then no one did?  Well, it might not be you!  Allow me to share The Top 9 Reasons I Might Not Sit By You That Have Nothing To Do With Whether I Like You.

Hahaha :) It looks like it's all serious, but just wait until you read the reasons...  I mean, don't get me wrong, they're all true reasons.  But that poster just cracks me up every time.  Photo credit to S Packwood on Flickr.

1. My nose is stuffy.

Don't ask me why, but this actually has a huge effect on my mood (without my always realizing it).  I guess because it's uncomfortable?  but it makes me irritable and impatient and I probably won't try to start a conversation with anyone under these conditions.

2. I'm having a low-confidence day.

On these days, I find it hard to be very outgoing.  Usually, I'd rather everyone left me alone while I work through my issues.

3. I'm not in love with what I'm wearing today.

Maybe I just looked in the mirror and things don't look like they did at home, or maybe everything I love was in the wash this morning.  Either way, my thoughts are on myself and hoping people don't notice the weirdness, so please understand that I probably feel too uncomfortable to put myself in a position to be seen.

4. I might have something in my teeth OR My teeth feel dirty.

You know that feeling?  UGH.  It's the worst.  Anyway, I feel like this one's pretty easy to understand.

5. You're already talking to someone.

Trying to join an already-going conversation is just the worst, amiright?

6. I need Vaseline.

Not a tube of Chapstick.  Sometimes I just NEED the slippery-ness of Vaseline.  If I don't have it, I'm extremely aware of what my mouth is doing.  Needless to say (maybe? haha:), it makes talking and especially smiling feel awful.

7. I really need the message being presented.

This applies if we're at someplace spiritual, motivational, or where you're supposed to learn stuff (like a professional conference).  It's sometimes hard for me to focus when I'm sitting by a friend who I'll be tempted to make side comments to, so if I feel like I really need the message, it's going to just be me and my journal.  No offense.

8. I'm lost in my thoughts / distracted.

I looked directly at my neighbor at the grocery store this week and literally didn't see her until she talked to me, because she wasn't the display of sparkling cider I was looking for.  So.  That happened.

9. I have to go to the bathroom.

Well, really, if that's the reason, I'm probably already there.  But if I'm in the bathroom, I still can't sit by you, right?

Moral of the story: Don't beat yourself up if no one sits by you.  If it's me who doesn't sit by you, assume my nose is stuffy or offer me some Vaseline.  You'd be surprised how often one of those is the reason.  But also, there's nothing wrong with going to sit by someone else!  Don't wait for them to come to you.  The people you're waiting for might all be in the bathroom.

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Unless you are utterly exploded, there is always something to be grateful for.

Herzog

Saul Bellow