It's not you, it's me. Really.

Have you ever gone to an event and hoped someone would sit by you and then no one did?  Well, it might not be you!  Allow me to share The Top 9 Reasons I Might Not Sit By You That Have Nothing To Do With Whether I Like You.

Hahaha :) It looks like it's all serious, but just wait until you read the reasons...  I mean, don't get me wrong, they're all true reasons.  But that poster just cracks me up every time.  Photo credit to S Packwood on Flickr.

1. My nose is stuffy.

Don't ask me why, but this actually has a huge effect on my mood (without my always realizing it).  I guess because it's uncomfortable?  but it makes me irritable and impatient and I probably won't try to start a conversation with anyone under these conditions.

2. I'm having a low-confidence day.

On these days, I find it hard to be very outgoing.  Usually, I'd rather everyone left me alone while I work through my issues.

3. I'm not in love with what I'm wearing today.

Maybe I just looked in the mirror and things don't look like they did at home, or maybe everything I love was in the wash this morning.  Either way, my thoughts are on myself and hoping people don't notice the weirdness, so please understand that I probably feel too uncomfortable to put myself in a position to be seen.

4. I might have something in my teeth OR My teeth feel dirty.

You know that feeling?  UGH.  It's the worst.  Anyway, I feel like this one's pretty easy to understand.

5. You're already talking to someone.

Trying to join an already-going conversation is just the worst, amiright?

6. I need Vaseline.

Not a tube of Chapstick.  Sometimes I just NEED the slippery-ness of Vaseline.  If I don't have it, I'm extremely aware of what my mouth is doing.  Needless to say (maybe? haha:), it makes talking and especially smiling feel awful.

7. I really need the message being presented.

This applies if we're at someplace spiritual, motivational, or where you're supposed to learn stuff (like a professional conference).  It's sometimes hard for me to focus when I'm sitting by a friend who I'll be tempted to make side comments to, so if I feel like I really need the message, it's going to just be me and my journal.  No offense.

8. I'm lost in my thoughts / distracted.

I looked directly at my neighbor at the grocery store this week and literally didn't see her until she talked to me, because she wasn't the display of sparkling cider I was looking for.  So.  That happened.

9. I have to go to the bathroom.

Well, really, if that's the reason, I'm probably already there.  But if I'm in the bathroom, I still can't sit by you, right?

Moral of the story: Don't beat yourself up if no one sits by you.  If it's me who doesn't sit by you, assume my nose is stuffy or offer me some Vaseline.  You'd be surprised how often one of those is the reason.  But also, there's nothing wrong with going to sit by someone else!  Don't wait for them to come to you.  The people you're waiting for might all be in the bathroom.

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Unless you are utterly exploded, there is always something to be grateful for.

Herzog

Saul Bellow

a real live Corner Gas

Okay, so it's not quite as cool as Corner Gas, but it is pretty cool.

 

I discovered the coolness of Tesoro gas stations a couple of weeks ago as I was driving home from my student teaching.  Not only do they tend to have cheaper gas than all surrounding gas stations, but they also pump the gas for you!  And clean the front and back windows (and other ones, too, if you ask them to) while it's pumping!  It's kind of fun, especially because they offer and think you're crazy if you say no - you don't have to ask.  And because it's nice when it's freezing cold outside.  I always am left with one question, though.

What are you supposed to do in the car while they're working on the outside?

"A single executive is the fetus of a monarchy."

We watched a video in ESL History that said that.

It was definitely an unexpected use of the word fetus. 

I think that word is so weird.

I don't think anyone else noticed. 

not as awkward as it could've been - and it had great potential.

Someone whom I have never before met just hovered over me while I was sitting on the ground 

and squeezed my shoulder.

We supposedly know each other.

I looked up and said,

"Hi!

...

Actually...

I don't know you."

His face said the same thing.

out of a movie

I just saw one of the most awkward encounters I've ever seen not on a movie.
So I'm sitting in the library.  There's a girl who I saw earlier in here with a boy at his computer - I think they came in here together.  Later... She's walking down the aisle, a different boy is walking up it.  They meet right by my computer.  They both say hi and stare at each other for like, 20 seconds.  Then the girl walked around him to go back to her computer and he stayed there for a minute, fiddling with his wallet wearing a confused/hurt look on his face and then walked away.  If that's not straight out of a movie, I don't know what is.

moment at school today...

When you walk out of the girls' bathroom and a boy walks out of the boys' bathroom right across the hall at the same time... and you make eye contact.  A little awkward.