funnies

Kelli, in a Russellville, AK, rest stop: "I hate this whole place."

Mom: "I'm as cool as a coupon!"

Grandma: "People are going all hotsie potsie on me!"
Me: "What does that mean?"
Grandma: "It means no one wants to have ice cream."

Rachel: "Why does water stay logged in your ears?"
Dad: "Capillary action, I presume."

Kelli: "What famous person would you be?  You can keep the good parts and get rid of the bad parts."
Rachel: "Helen Keller.  Minus all the bad parts."

Grandma: "I've got more gloves than Peter has Paul."

Grandma: "What are you doing with all those pictures?"
Mom (joking): "Throwing them out."
Grandma: "Oh yeah, you are... like the bird in the bush."

___________________________________________

[The tent] was now packed inside the beaded bag, which, Harry was impressed to learn, Hermione had protected from the Snatchers by the simple expedient of stuffing it down her sock.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

the Goblet of Fire

Frank Bryce.  Every time I read the book or watch the movie, I feel so so bad for him.  He seems like such a lonely old man.  I think people forget that Voldemort ruined his life, too, when he killed the Riddles.

Wormtail is more despicable to me than Voldemort.  Should that happen?  I really loathe him.  I can hardly bear looking at him while he's on screen.  Also, Baby Voldemort is way less ugly in the movie.  In the book, horrible.  In the movie, almost cute.  YES, I did just call Baby Voldemort almost cute.  Sue me.  It's the same as when Draco looked so good in the fourth movie and everyone thought I was crazy because he's the bad guy so I shouldn't find him attractive.  Well, you're all just going to have to get over it.  All of the good guys had horrible hair.

If you've never watched Harry discover Dumbledore's pensieve while listening to Joel, in Jimmy Fallon's teenage girl voice, saying, "Ew!  Oh. My. Goodness.  A pensieve!  EW!  Old person memories!!" believe me when I say YOU SHOULD.  You'll die laughing.

Because this isn't my favorite movie (WOAH. Calm down. I still love it. I just like some of the other HP movies better), I tend to forget how much I like the book.  This book is one of the best ones.  I love it.

___________________________________________

"'Yeh'll do wha' yer told,' he growled, 'or I'll be takin' a leaf outta Professor Moody's book... I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy.'"

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

cute things my kids [students] say

I keep a Google Doc of funny things my school students and my Primary students say.  Today I felt like sharing a couple of them.  The following gems are from four four-year-olds at church.  We'll call them A, B, C, and D.  

me: Have any of you seen an angel before?

A: I have!

[At this point I'm really curious as to what she's talking about and decide to get details, since she's offering them.]

me: When have you seen an angel?

A: Once when I was sleeping, I saw the tooth fairy.

B, while giving a talk in Primary: John the Baptist descended in a clown. [giggles]

C: Heavenly Father doesn't want us to be chubby.

me: What would you say if you saw Jesus or if He came to your house?

D: Thank you.

me, touched at her spiritual and mature answer: What would you thank Him for?

D: Like, Thank you for getting me some cereal.

___________________________________________

"Love that has been tested is far more awe-inspiring than love that has never known anything but bliss.  Don't look for a partner with whom you have no problems, but one you are good at overcoming problems with.  Just remember: the story of the old elm tree is no fairy tale.  It has a scar, and it is real."  - Po Bronson, Why Do I Love These People?

We want some mo, we want some mo, we want some mo!

This is one of my favorite movies.  I grew up watching it, quoting it, its soundtrack was the first CD I  ever bought myself...  I love it.  It's one of the only movies I could finish and then immediately start over.  One of my siblings' favorite stories, especially when teasing our parents, is about this movie.  Once, when we were younger, all the kids were home and my parents were at the grocery store or someplace.  When we finished our homework / chores for the evening, we wanted to watch a movie.  It was 9:00, though, and we knew that, 1) Mom and Dad would be home soon, and 2) when they got home, we'd have to turn off the TV and go to bed.  But one of us was smart and remembered this movie, which is also one of my mom's favorites.  So we made a non-monetized bet - if we started this movie, even at 9:00, Mom and Dad would let us stay up to finish it.  

They got home at 9:15.

Worked like a charm.

___________________________________________

"In fanciful stories people can talk to the birds freely, and I wish for the moment I could pretend that this was such a story, and say that Peter replied intelligently to the Never bird; but truth is best, and I want to tell only what really happened."  - J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

not as awkward as it could've been - and it had great potential.

Someone whom I have never before met just hovered over me while I was sitting on the ground 

and squeezed my shoulder.

We supposedly know each other.

I looked up and said,

"Hi!

...

Actually...

I don't know you."

His face said the same thing.