the "why"'s

Try not to be jealous that I have the best parents ever!  (Sorry, you're probably sick of hearing about people you might not even know.  Allow me one more gush post.)

make the bed every day - My parents' bed is always made.  How is that possible?!

keep the bedroom clean - Okay, they have to clean their room every once in a while.  But I remember, all growing up, being amazed that they always kept their bedroom clean.  (That was a hard one for me haha:)

empty the dishwasher every morning - My dad empties the dishwasher every morning, usually before anyone gets up (so there's almost never pile-up in the sink).  He doesn't complain or ever say he does it; in fact, even if you lived with us, you might never know it was him unless you asked.  But it always gets done.

start it every evening + wipe the counters after dinner - My parents go to bed every night with a clean kitchen.  I have never seen them clean up a mess one day that was made the day before at dinner.  I never thought much about that until I had my own kitchen.  Now, every night when I think, "Man, I'm tired... I'll just do this tomorrow," I also think, "How do Mom and Dad do this every night?!"

be intentionally friendly at church - What I didn't share from my journal on the day I shared this goal was that I made it 100% with my mom in mind.  She is the friendliest person!  It seems like everyone at church knows who she is / knows her and loves her.  She is not one to wallow in feeling friendless or leave immediately after a meeting so she doesn't have to socialize; she looks for those who need her friendship (and anyone else) and gives it!  I know she's not always in the mood to do any of this, but she does it.

make dinner every day - Growing up, we almost never ate not home-cooked food.  "Eating out" was buying 14 Happy Meals on the day they were on sale for a dollar.  Every once in a while we'd order pizza.  I respect this a lot about my parents - it's hard to cook every day!

plan for eating out - Like I said, "eating out" was $1 Happy Meal Day, not any day my mom didn't feel like cooking.

be a visiting teacher - My parents are the best home/visiting teachers ever.  I don't know if either of them have ever missed a month.  It never seemed like it.  And it's not just checking something off - Dad gives teachees rides to church when they need it, Mom calls to check up when she feels like she needs to or if they miss church, and they both always seem to know what's going on with their teachees.  They take the responsibility seriously.

say personal prayer before bed - I cannot even begin to guess how many times I have walked in on them saying their personal or couple prayer at bedtime.  Mom, Dad, have you ever missed once?! :)

exercise every weekday - My mom is one of the best examples of exercise in the entire world to me.  You know how people say, "Exercise!  If it's hard at first, it'll get better, because you will start to notice how GREAT you feel after you exercise!"?  My mom's hips hurt after exercise.  She never feels good after exercising.  But she knows it's good for her and tries to take care of her body.  She exercises every weekday.  And I always brag about my dad.  He could run marathons, easy.  He just doesn't because entry fees are non-refundable and you never know what could come up and cause you not to be able to go do it.  Haha.  But he used to run marathon distances just for fun.  "We just ran up to the airport and back.  Yeah, I guess it was probably about 20 miles or so."  He's so modest. :)

enjoy time with my family + strengthen family relationships - My parents are all about this.  Mom's especially vocal about it :) but strengthening our family has always been a priority.

go on dates with Joel - My parents date all the time!

learn to love (and hopefully be good at) being Primary Chorister - I'm pretty sure every person who ever had my mother as their Primary Chorister remembers it fondly.  She LOVES this calling.  When I called to tell her I had it, she was jealous.  She is fun but knows how to keep control, and she works the Spirit and the gospel into everything.  None of this "Use a picture of a bodybuilder to stand for the word "strong"" stuff.  :)

brush my teeth at night + floss once a day - How many people do you know who floss twice a day EVERY DAY?  Well, you can up your tally by one, because MY DAD.  Every day, people.  Think about that next time you get in trouble at the dentist for not doing it once a day.    

help my family + be a good parent - I cannot even say how much my parents do for our family, or how great of parents they are, so I'm not going to try.  Suffice it to say, they were the inspiration for these two goals.

incorporate the above goals as a mother - Did I mention that they did all of these things while we were growing up?  :)



Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sure you don't think you're perfect, but you might be the only ones.

Love,
Everyone

___________________________________________

In one swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon him; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubbed handle - 

With a single stroke Neville sliced off the great snake’s head…

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

last year's resolutions

Hello!  I haven't done an update on my resolutions since August, but not because I haven't been working on them!  It's mostly because I was out of town for almost the whole month of September and then got a foster placement and then in October got another one.  Things have been busy around here.  :)  But here's a quick update:

September - I put all my energies into helping my family as we moved my grandma out of her house and into a new place.  

October - I honestly can't remember.  Maybe I didn't have a goal that month?

November - My goal was to feel good about myself as a mom, as this was really the first time I'd been one.  This wasn't my goal because I'd previously felt bad about myself as a mom; I just know a lot of moms do and I never wanted to start.

December - All of my previous goals had been done as someone with no children.  Children busy life up a lot, so my goal this month was to incorporate the year's goals as best as I could with children.  It was hard, I definitely wasn't perfect, and I know how I want to improve this year, but I'm happy that I figured out how to be better at so many things before having kids.  I think it made this month a little easier.

And now... for the big reveal........

I told you in January that I'd be making small goals each month in order to reach an overarching goal.  I also told you that goal was too personal to share - as in, I wanted to accomplish it by myself, without reminders or pressure from others - but at the end of the year, I'd tell you what it was.

No one knows this.  (Even my husband.)

Are you ready?

Drum roll please...

Get ready for the sap fest!

My goal for 2014 was to become more like my parents.  :)

It's sparkling grape juice, I promise. Also, aren't my parents great selfie takers?

My mom and dad are the best parents in the entire world.  Probably the best people in the entire world.  In my completely unbiased opinion.  :)  Joel and I spent Christmas 2013 at their house, and the whole time I was there I noticed habits they had that I wished I did.  Their house runs so well!  Their habits seem more perfect than any other family's I know.  (Theirs is the only house I've lived in, so I don't know what any others are like.  Maybe yours is great, too.:)  I have always admired these things about them, but for some reason, it was in my mind ALL THE TIME during that vacation and after we got home.  So when 2014 started, my mind was full of things I wanted to do like them and my overarching goal was born.  I wrote a list of ways to improve, spread them out through the year, and worked all year to accomplish them.  I also said in January that "this resolution is more important to me than some, and more possible than many, and I know how happy I will be if I keep it..."  I didn't reach my goals perfectly, and many of them only lasted the one month, but I still work hard at them every day!  I don't think a day ever goes by that I don't ask myself what one or both of my parents would do in my situation.  They are amazing.

Told you it'd be a sap fest.  :)

___________________________________________

The door that led to the kitchens was blasted off its hinges.  The house-elves of Hogwarts swarmed into the entrance hall, screaming and waving carving knives and cleavers, and at their head, the locket of Regulus Black bouncing on his chest, was Kreacher, his bullfrog’s voice audible even above this din: “Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves!  Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus!  Fight!”

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"angels round about you"

photo source

About a month ago, I got a phone call.  "Hello, Alison?  We would like to include [your foster kids] on our Angel Tree.  Can you email me their interests and clothes sizes?"

Last week, we received the gifts.

Tonight, we went through them to see what the kids got (all the gifts were wrapped, so we had no idea) and decide who would give them what.  (What's from Santa, what's from us, what can they give each other...)  

All I have to say is, I never knew I would one day be the recipient of Angel Tree gifts and had no idea what to expect, but I was completely blown away.  I almost cried several times tonight going through those gifts.  People are so generous and kind.  I felt the need to write them a letter but don't - won't - know who to give it to, so I'm giving it to you.  If you have ever donated money, participated in Angel Tree, or taken food to a canned food drive, this is for you.  If you haven't ever done anything like that, I encourage you to try it sometime.   

Dear angel who picked my angels off a tree,

I wish I could give you a hug.  You have no idea how much we think of you.  Going through the gifts you bought my children tonight, I was amazed by your kindness.  You didn't give the bare minimum or focus on needs.  You went above and beyond.  You bought her clothes, but not just any clothes.  You bought adorable clothes in her favorite color that she will l.o.v.e.  You read that he likes football and Nerf, so you got him a Nerf football.  Then when you saw that he also needed a long-sleeved shirt, you got him one with a gigantic football on it.  You saw that each loves stuffed animals (how did you happen to get both *our* kids?) and got the same one for each but with different hats.  Do your kids forget which toys are theirs, too?  YOU SHOP AT NORDSTROM and got them more than one outfit each. You gave him a Lego set he's going to die for, and it wasn't five dollars.  How did you know that her favorite thing to play is grocery shopping + cooking?  I didn't even think to write it on her tag.  You didn't pick something up at the dollar store or settle for a t-shirt.  You are so kind.  Maybe you knew what to get because you understand what it's like to need at Christmastime.  No matter who you are, you truly are an angel.  I will never forget you.  

Love, 

Our whole family

"...Not all angels are from the other side of the veil.  Some of them we walk with and talk with - here, now, every day.  Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind."  - Jeffrey R. Holland

___________________________________________

Stories give you a way to see things.  A way to understand the events of your life.

Even if you don’t realize it while you’re hearing the tale.

Icefall

I am glad for many things,

many things,

many things.

I am glad for many things

that are mine today.

Thank you, thank you,

my heart sings,

my heart sings,

my heart sings.

Thank you for the many things

that are mine today.

-Moiselle Renstrom-

"...live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you."

Alma 34:38

"If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving."

Doctrine & Covenants 136:28

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am glad for many things

Our foster kids love to paint, so today I'm thankful to Walmart for having this awesome 24-pack of paints on sale for $9.99.  Using them, dry spaghetti noodles + Elmer's glue, and white spray paint, we made these awesome turkey feathers to hang up for Thanksgiving.  :)

Try not to be distracted by how badly you wish you had our carpet!  I know it's hard. :)

___________________________________________

There was a scuffling and great thump: Someone else had clambered out of the tunnel, overbalanced slightly, and fallen.  He pulled himself up on the nearest chair, looked around through lopsided horn-rimmed glasses, and said, "Am I too late? Has it started? I only just found out, so I - I -" Percy spluttered into silence.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

let's get real.

For those of you who don't know me in real life or otherwise don't know, Joel and I recently became foster parents.  There are hard parts, but overall we love it!  I have been thinking about some things lately, though, and ask as many of you as want to to chime in.  The invitation's extended to people who have young children, people who have had young children in the past, and people who were young children at one point and remember what their parents did.  And anyone else with something to offer. :)

I keep having questions come to mind that I want to ask other parents.  I need someone other than blogger moms to compare myself to.  Slash... I know I shouldn't be comparing myself at all, and it's really not that.  I really feel pretty good about my mothering and how I do it.  I guess I just read these articles and see pictures and want to know how REAL people really are.  

How much TV do you watch?  We watch about an hour a day - one episode of "Mister Rogers's Neighborhood" (a kids' TV show I love and don't get annoyed by like the shows our current kids like) and sometimes part of Dolphin Tale, which they love.  We would maybe watch more if they had a longer attention span... haha. :)  

What kinds of snacks do you eat?  Sorry, but we're mostly crackers.  I know we should be fruits and vegetables or string cheese or yogurt... but we're mostly crackers.  One ate a saltine cracker sandwich today for his snack.  I don't care if you judge; I feel fine about it.  I mean, we're not going to do that every day, but I feel fine about it doing it today.  

It was just Halloween.  What do you do about candy?  Ours probably eat like... five pieces a day.  Not always, but often I let them have one after a snack or meal.  It depends on how well they ate their real food.  I don't feel bad about it - candy stashes don't last forever and it's only been a week.  

I know this is a hard question to answer, but how much do you actively play with your children?  I've heard some people say it should be all the time; I've heard others say if you do half an hour dedicated playtime in a day, that's great.  I, personally, am a huge proponent of individual (and with other children) playtime.  I play with them a lot, but I also do a lot of sitting back and watching - or not watching.  I consider it a victory if they'll play in the backyard without me being outside.  I try to make sure they know I'm paying attention to them, and if I'm on the computer, I typically only do productive stuff (not checking Facebook, blogging, or reading blogs), but I think it's important to not always play with them.  They tend to use their imaginations better when I'm not actively participating and they learn about conflict resolution, and I like that.  When I play with them, we're dancing, reading, playing at the playground, or drawing on white paper usually.  We're not doing elaborate crafts, practicing writing in sand, or taking tours of cool factories.  

What about fruits and vegetables?  I give them one at lunch and one at dinner.  So... two-ish servings a day.  (How big is a serving of fruit / vegetable for a person who only eats half a cup of food?)  Sometimes we have apple or watermelon for a snack.  I should be better about that, but the excuse I'm giving myself is that they weren't raised with me, so I'm allowed to transition them into fruits and vegetables.  (The real reason is probably that I don't always think of it or feel like fighting when I think crackers are decently healthy.)  Also, we eat cereal for breakfast every day and a sandwich almost every day for lunch, usually with meat and/or cheese OR peanut butter.  

People talk about how parenting is so tiring and moms never take time for themselves.  It is tiring, I often have to get up a few times during the night with a crying child, and I'm worn out at the end of the day, but I also take a nap - or at least a close-eyed rest - every day.  Quiet time is about an hour every day after lunch.  Hopefully you didn't break anything while I was having mine and you were ignoring yours.  Oh, and when it's time for me to take a shower, want to watch the Disney channel?
EDIT: I don't say bring that up to say that people who say parenting is tiring are wrong or to say I do things better than anyone.  Parenting is DEFINITELY tiring and what works for me doesn't work for everyone.  It's just, when I wrote that paragraph, I had just barely read an article about a mother who was always putting herself on the back burner and wanted to say that doesn't need to be the case.  You're important, too!  (I didn't have any negative comments on this part, but it's just been sticking in my mind and rubbing me wrong, so I wanted to explain.:)

Oh, and we basically have no toys.  We have a lot of Legos, a lot of books, some plastic food, and a slide in our basement.  That's about it.  I love not having the clutter or needing to find places to put toys, and they really haven't seemed to need more than that.  Also, we hardly ever have to clean up.

So.  What is your parenting life like?

___________________________________________

“I was a fool!” Percy roared.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

review: Sleep Number SleepIQ bed

As I've mentioned before, I'm a member of a website that gives me samples in return for reviews. (If you're interested in learning more about the website I use, here's a link: http://h5.sml360.com/-/ge2y)   I'm not a huge fan of putting random reviews of stuff on my blog - I prefer to review stuff that I find in my regular life and love :) - but I agreed to review this! (and I'm getting a free pillow for it, which I'm super excited about) so here we go...

We tried out the new Sleep Number SleepIQ bed recently, and it was cool! It has sensors in the air of the mattress (the part that firms or softens depending on your Sleep Number) that tracks breathing and heart rates during the night.  In the morning, it send the information to an app on your phone / ipad / etc. and tells you how you slept the night before.  It tells you when you were most restful, when you were moving around, and when you were out of bed, and then gives you a score out of 100 on your overall sleep.  Then you can use that information to improve your sleep the next night.  (For example, if you think your  sleep number is 35 but you only score 65%, change your number tomorrow and see if your score goes up.)

It's SUPER comfortable, but that's really just any Sleep Number bed.  I'd never tried one before and was amazed at how uncomfortable it made my bed at home (that I love) seem!  Haha :)

I really love the idea of this bed. I like that it tracks how well I'm sleeping and gives me feedback to help improve my sleep. I think, in that way, it's very unique. It's the only bed I've ever heard of that does that. I also like that the app allows you to keep track of what you do during the day that may affect your sleep - what you ate, whether you exercised, etc. I wish that it tracked more than heart and breathing rate, though. What would really put this bed over the top (in my opinion) is if it tracked REM cycles, too. Also, it's pretty pricey. I've never spent several thousand dollars on a bed before, and to be honest, if I wanted to get the kind of technology that the SleepIQ bed offers, I would probably just buy a FitBit or something for $100.

But you don't have to take my word for it! Here's a link with some more information about the Sleep Number SleepIQ bed if you're interested in trying one out for yourself: http://h5.sml360.com/-/hrph

___________________________________________

This story, my dear young folks, seems to be false, but it really is true, for my grandfather, from whom I have it, used always, when relating it, to say complacently, “It must be true, my son, or else no one could tell it to you.”

“The Hare and the Hedgehog”