Friday, August 28, 2015

how to believe in Santa Claus

I just found out Christmas in July exists on the Hallmark channel, and I'm really sad I missed it.
I love Hallmark Christmas movies!  They're romantic comedies minus the one scene, plus Christmas!  They're so fun to watch (and make fun of).  Every Christmas, Dish lets us have the Hallmark channel for a month, so I record as many as I can and watch them throughout the year.  Now that I've just about finished watching all the ones on our DVR, I've decided to share with you...

14 Things I've Learned from Hallmark Christmas Movies

1. If a man grows up to look like Santa Claus, he can get a job at Hallmark or Lifetime.
2. "Washed up" seems too harsh a phrase... but all washed up actors/actresses can also get jobs at Hallmark or Lifetime.
3. Up also shows Christmas movies.  They're not as good.  
4. All kids with a divorced or dead parent just want their remaining parent to be happy.  They will be happy with almost anyone you choose to marry.
5. If you go on vacation and like it there, the best choice is to quit your job (or get fired) and get a new one in your vacation city at a corner store.
6. Corner stores can be saved from bankruptcy by creating an online presence.  This success will most likely come overnight.
7. Progress is bad.
8. Business people are workaholics and evil.  Most of them grew up not celebrating Christmas because their parents were also workaholics.  None of them believe in Santa (or the Spirit of Christmas).  
9. Small-town people are wonderful and have good priorities.  They grew up celebrating every single aspect of Christmas.  All of them believe in Santa (or the Spirit of Christmas).  
10. (Except for the one person in the small town who didn't get what s/he asked Santa for - a dead parent to come back to life, or a boyfriend - when they were six)
11. It only takes between two hours and two days to fall in love.
12. Love often starts as hate.
13. People who were friend-zoned in high school usually wait twenty years to get married... to the person who friend-zoned them!  Sometimes it takes that long to realize you loved your high school best friend all along.
14. It always snows on Christmas.
15. Put the word "Christmas" with any word, and it's probably already a movie.  The Christmas Secret, A Christmas Wish, The Christmas Shepherd, A Cookie Cutter Christmas, Christmas Lodge, A Christmas Visitor, The Christmas Blessing, The Christmas Heart, Summertime Christmas, The Christmas Choir, Christmas Miracle, The Christmas Card, Christmas Grace... I could go on and on.

Also, a lot of the Young Women in my ward love Hallmark Christmas movies, and it made Girls Camp really fun.  "Oh!  I know that one!  Is that the one where the girl's stuck in a snow globe??"


“Who could ever learn to love a beast?”
Beauty and the Beast


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