evolving faith: one year

*Note: This is written about all our foster kids - past, present, and future.  It's not referencing any particular event or case, but is rather a culmination of thoughts I've had during the last year.  

When I encouraged you to ask your questions about foster care a couple months ago, one of you asked what we've learned and what has surprised us since we started.  I answered all the questions then, but these two stayed in my mind because I knew I hadn't learned all I would.  One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is how my faith has evolved.

We've been licensed for about a year.  In that time, we've had four children.  For the first... nine months or so, I had faith in the legal system.  I prayed that the best thing for our kids would be done, and then I had faith that the attorneys, judge, etc., would be inspired.  Sometimes mistakes happen, but I really trusted the professionals working on our cases and had faith in them.  When I told a friend once that I believed the best thing would happen, she said, "You must have a lot more faith in the legal system than I do."  As I thought about her comment, I passionately agreed.  Of course I do!  I have to.  Because if I don't, all I will feel about the future is fear.  Having faith in those involved was the only choice I could see.

During the tenth month, my faith changed.  In fact, I was talking to Joel about it one night and said, "I still have faith that Heavenly Father can prompt people to do the right thing, but I don't necessarily believe they'll listen."  I went to bed that night and prayed that, as I read my scriptures, Heavenly Father would lead me to a verse that would restore my hope.

And then I read 1 Nephi 9:6 - "The Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fullfilling of all his words.  And thus it is.  Amen."  

Heavenly Father knows the past, present, and future.  He's not surprised by anything.  He is all-powerful and knows how to make sure the best things happen.  People's choices don't trip him up - He already knows.  He has a plan.  That's just how it is.

That being said,

Sometimes the best things don't happen while we're on earth.  He knows that, too.  And therein lies the evolution of my faith.  I still believe the parents and professionals involved in our cases are good people.  I still believe they want what's best for the kids.  But I no longer rest my hope and faith on them.  I feel peace, knowing that the best thing will happen to my kids.  In this life?  Maybe.  But as part of the bigger picture, definitely.  The Atonement makes everything right.

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Certainly people who were only born yesterday know very little.

"The Snow Man"

Hans Christian Andersen