on not settling

I heard about a book today.  It's called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.  The argument of the book is that people who don't match every quality on "My future spouse will be..." lists still make good spouses.  I agree with that.  I also agree with the idea that sometimes we put unimportant things on our "Important Qualities" lists.  But I hate the idea of telling someone to "settle."  Adjust what's most important, sure.  Being able to play the guitar or having blue eyes probably isn't essential.  (I don't know your life; maybe they are.)  But don't settle for someone you don't want in hopes that s/he will become who you want.  Look for someone you do want!  Or a job you want, a GPA, a dog, a house, whatever you're making a list about.  

I'll say this: My family visited us recently and brought with them a bunch of stuff I'd been storing at their house.  Included was a list I wrote when I was 15 of qualities I wanted my future husband to have.  It's a full page, people.  Three columns.  And my husband fits every one of them.

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"[Families] build new traditions, and they pass these on to their children and friends, spreading a simple value - that we are stronger together than alone."  - Po Bronson, Why Do I Love These People?