Tuesday, March 31, 2015

your foster questions answered: part 1

I got a lot of questions! which makes me really happy!  So I've broken the answers up into several posts.  It's important to me to share this information, so I want to be as successful as possible about sharing the answers.  This would've been a HUGE post, though, so it came down to running the risk of you not coming back to read the others versus you getting bored after 10 questions and skipping the rest.  Hopefully this is the best way to do it!  :)

I've done my best to answer, but if you still have questions after reading - if I've not answered clearly, if reading an answer raises more questions, if I misunderstood your question - here's the link to the original survey to ask anonymously, or you can comment.

Why did you decide to do foster care?
I was first introduced to foster care by my piano teacher growing up.  Her family fostered infants, and I thought the idea of having fun new cute babies every once in a while sounded awesome.  Hahaha:)  As I got older, I started thinking a lot about adoption.  Joel's family helped out friends / family members a few times growing up, letting them stay in their home, and this was something that was important to him.  We decided we wanted our home to be a safe place for more than just our family, whatever that would end up meaning.

As life went by, I started having the desire to help sibling groups, too.  I fantasized about giving a home to a group of kids who'd always wanted one.  During all of this, someone told me it was a gift to be able to love other people's children as much as your own, and I realized it was true and that I had that gift.  Joel and I talked on and off about fostering but always as a "someday" thing.  One Sunday, our bishop asked a man who'd been a foster parent for 10 years to speak about some of his experiences and how they'd strengthened his testimony of the Atonement.  When we got home from church, Joel and I both knew it was "someday."  A couple weeks later, we started the training and we haven't looked back.

How long have you fostered?  How many children have you had?
Joel and I have been licensed since September, so... about 7 months.  We've had two groups of two children.  The first group was for about a week; the second group has been since Halloween.

Can you start and stop whenever you want?
Being a foster parent - Pretty much, yep!  The licensing process is pretty intense so you probably wouldn't want to do it over and over, but you can choose to let your license expire whenever you're ready.  (The license lasts a year.)
With a particular placement - If you have a placement you just cannot get along with, you can ask for them to be moved to a different home.
In between placements, you can take as long of a break as you need.

What's the best part of fostering?
I've never been a biological parent, but I would imagine the best parts of fostering are similar to the best parts of biological parenting - seeing them be happy, having a successful family night, watching them learn...  But there are some really sweet moments particular to fostering - seeing the boy who's always played violently be sweet; having a full night's sleep after weeks of nightmare nights; hearing her say her favorite movie is Peter Pan instead of "Walking Dead" - seeing that you're making a difference.

What's the hardest part?
Knowing how much they miss their parents.  When a parent cancels a visit, even if it's for a good reason.  When the case [aka Mom and Dad's choices] gets worse instead of better.  Imagining how it would feel to get ripped around.

Who decides who you get? and some more. :)


“And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


mdebaltzo said...

This was very informative, thanks! I'm looking forward to part 2.

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